Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Half-Baked Solutions

So, I hit upon an idea. I'm not sure where I got the idea from or what I was doing at the time, but rest assured - I didn't bump my head on anything. I don't think I did, anyway.

The premise is this: There are a lot of serious problems in the world. Hunger. Violence. Primary candidates who don't know when they've lost. My idea is to offer up solutions, no matter how much time I've spent thinking about all the angles. In fact, the less I think about the consequences of my "solutions," the better the results... I hope.

So here goes: Serious Problems. Half-Baked Solutions.

Problem 1: World Hunger
We've got a world that's running out of food. There are countries that have had/are having food riots. Possibly from bad government controls, but other factors could contribute.
Solution: Stop making "biofuels" out of corn. Americans should stop consuming so much, and I mean that in all ways possible (we eat too much, we drive too much, etc.) Build a computer to solve the problem for us, then use it to play video games while it searches for a solution. Suggestion for the video game: Solitare.

Problem 2: U.S. Immigration policy
Illegal immigrants come to the U.S., most notably from Mexico. What can be done about this situation?
Solution: All immigrants currently here should get work permits. They should pay no taxes, but get no benefits either. No healthcare, social security, etc. Something reasonable should be done to keep more illegal immigrants from coming here illegally. Finally, I want a Lamborghini. Nothing to do with immigration policy... but seriously... would me getting a Lamborghini be any less effective than whatever we're doing now?

Problem 3: World Oil
Prices out of control. Supply concerns. Political unrest. What will happen to us if/when we run out of oil?
Solution: #1: America should cut it's oil consumption by like 75%. At least. China, the next largest oil consumer, uses approximately 1/3rd the amount of oil America does. And they've got 3-4 times the amount of people. America should switch to bikes as much as possible. We should also get the heck out of Iraq and use that money to invest in alternative energy. Also, I'll use my Lamborghini from Solution 2 to drive around and promote oil use reduction. I'd probably do this about 8 hours a day, just to show my support for saving oil.

Problem 4: Cubs haven't won a World Series in 100 years
This year, if the Cubs don't win the World Series, it will mark the 100th year since their last World Series win. Cubs fans everywhere will cry out in a big "Next Year!" cheer. Again.
Solution: Pay off teams to lose to the Cubs. You'll have to pay off a lot of teams, but let's do it. That way, Cubs fans can finally celebrate a real victory, like the Sox fans had 3 years ago.

Do you have any serious problems that need my brand of solutions? Please let me know!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

10 Reasons To Keep A Cell Phone

So I saw this article today:
Ten Reasons To Throw Away Your Cellphone

The article bothered me a little because the reasons they gave were... well, let's face it, pretty bad. Let me go one by one and respond to each item on this list.

1. It makes your life more complicated
Cell phones can be as connected or as disconnected to your life as you want them. The article states that a cell phone, "...checks email, holds information and schedules events...," but my cell phone does only 1 of those things. I can choose to get a cell phone that would allow e-mail access - I can even get this kind of phone and choose not to attach it to my e-mail. Just because the cell phone can be as complicated as you want it to be is not a reason to get rid of it.

2. It's horribly expensive
The article mentions Total Cost of Ownership, which indeed can get pretty high over the course of the lifetime of the phone. However, a cell phone can be as expensive or as cheap as you want it. I used to work for a T-Mobile authorized dealer, and a prepaid phone (no contract), could be had for as little as $90 to start (cell phone and 3 months of service), and only $25 for 3 months after that. This, of course, was only to be used for emergency purposes and short phone calls, but it goes to show that a cell phone doesn't have to cost a huge amount per month.

3. It enslaves you to a one-sided contract
True, cell phone contacts are horribly in favor of the cell phone companies. That's part of the reason that you have a choice of entering a contract or using a prepaid phone, which doesn't subject you to all the fees and restrictions that a contract would.

4. It makes you perpetually available
From the article: "If it's on, they can get you. If it's off, they wonder why they can't get you. It's a lose-lose situation for your Zen." While this can be true, a better option would be to talk to your friends and let them know that if your cell phone is off, it means that you aren't able to talk. An important thing to remember about a cell phone (or any phone, for that matter) is that it is for YOUR convenience, not the person that's calling you.

5. It is boring
A cell phone being boring is not a reason to toss it out. A cell phone can and should be used in emergencies, which can save lives. Hardly boring.

6. It must constantly be recharged
Every electronic device that is not constantly connected to a power supply needs to be recharged. This should not come as a surprise to you. If batteries constantly run out on you, there are options available such as an extra battery and travel chargers.

7. It knows where you are
The benefits far outweigh the worries in this situation. GPS means emergency workers would know where you are if you are in an accident and that even when you call for pizza delivery, they know exactly where you are.

8. It encourages stupid people to become a public menace
Cell phones in and of themselves are not the cause of this. People have been doing this with make up, and shavers in cars. If they weren't using their cell phone, they might be drinking or eating something instead. The problem isn't the cell phone, the problem is people's attitudes. Even if you take away the cell phone, people would find another distraction.

9. Ubiquitous pleather accessory shops
Again, cell phones aren't the problem here. If cell phones didn't exist, it would be iPod accessories taking over everything. Or something else. It's peoples' need to accessorize what they own that is the "problem," not cell phones.

10. It turns you into a public annoyance
If you're that annoyed by ring tones, perhaps you shouldn't go out at all. It would be nice if people had their cell phones on vibrate while they were out, but it's not a perfect world. I really don't think that the cell phone's "annoying" sounds outweigh the benefit of saving lives in emergencies.

Friday, June 8, 2007

The American Ju$tice System

I'm not someone that pays particularly close attention to celebrity happenings. However, this had to change the moment I read that Paris Hilton was released from jail, to serve out her already-reduced sentence in her home.

At first, I wanted to treat this as a big joke because I had a feeling that all Paris does is crave attention. But when you really get down into it, letting Paris serve her sentence at home, even though the judge for her case explicitly mentioned that she was not to serve her sentence on house-arrest, proves that the American Justice System is a joke. A system where fairness can be sold to whomever can pay the price.

Putting Paris back in jail, as was done today, gives me faith in the system again. I'm not for or against Paris being in jail, I'm for justice being done as it was intended when her sentence was given. Letting Paris go on house-arrest for something as ridiculous as, "mental anguish," is the equivalent of giving the statue of justice, blind and holding a scale, a sucker-punch in the gut.

This whole case has me torn. As I write this, on CNN.com, there is a list of the most popular videos watched. Paris occupies the first 3 ranks, followed by a story about a murder in Kansas. On one hand, I'm glad this has national attention because justice shouldn't have a price, but on the other hand, I find it sad that we care more about a celebrity than news like a murder.

Look, all I want is for us to stop caring about Paris and for the American Justice System to stop tipping in favor of the highest bidder. Is that so much to ask for?

Link: CNN.com story

Monday, June 4, 2007

The Power Of A Smile

It was Saturday morning. My grandfather is no longer able to drive due to various complications, mostly related to advanced age. So, either my dad or I have to take him where he needs to go, whether it be to go shopping or to get a haircut.

Today he has a doctor's appointment. I don't mind taking him so much, until we get to the hospital and sit in the waiting room. And wait. And wait. And wait some more. There are about 80 different things I can think of to do on my day off, and sitting in a waiting room doesn't lie anywhere near the top of the list.

I flip through the magazines that are in the waiting room, and the most interesting one I can find is about scuba diving.

Finally, my grandfather is seen by the doctor and is ready to leave about 15 minutes later. My attitude is somewhere between "pissed that this appointment took so long" and "ready to go home hours ago." I can't see my face at this point, but I imagine "permanent scowl" to be pretty descriptive.

I pull up to the end of the driveway of the hospital and am ready to turn back on the busy street to bring my grandfather home. And that's when I see it.

I see a guy riding a bicycle on the busy street, on the side closest to me. I have to stop early in the driveway, otherwise the front end of my car may be in his way. He sees what I did, and flashes a smile.

Instantly, my attitude changes from anger to happiness. Suddenly, my problems don't seem so big anymore. "The world is a bigger place than you and me," I think to myself.

Today's going to be alright.

Friday, May 25, 2007

The First Post

So I would think that a first post of a new blog would be something special, something that would set the tone for the rest of the blog posts. Something that people in the future would come back to and think, "Ah, so that's how it all got started." The first post should be magical, full of such wisdom that it would inspire future bloggers for ages to come.

...

I just belched.

-GJK